Aug
4
I Remember When I Lost My Mind
Filed Under Need Spice, cheating?, crazy women, dumping, i need pleasure and you're not providing it, men in self imposed convents, proposals, run away joe | Leave a Comment
Jesse Asks: My boyfriend has stopped having sex with me. What is going on? He says he’s not in the mood or that he’s tired and it’s been like this for the last 5 months!!! It’s making me crazy!
He Says: Well he has obviously lost interest in you or getting it somewhere else. Since this is the two- ton elephant in the room, you have a right to demand better answers than “I’m tired” or “I’m not in the mood.” In fact, this is clearly a human rights violation. Threaten to haul him into the International Court of Justice in the Hague - your fundamental human needs aren’t being met. Maybe some wig-wearing judge will set him straight.
She Says: I used to think that when this happens it means he’s moved on mentally. Which is still often the case. But other times, men ‘just don’t feel like it’. I know so because friends of mine have been proposed to after this exact thing happened. To me, it means he’s gotten very comfortable with you. This can be a good or a bad thing. Sometimes this means he’s taking you for granted and other times this means that he’s happy and not that sexual. That vibe can only be picked up on by you. You know your man.. if he’s a sexual kind of guy then you may have a problem on your hands.
Jul
23
The Sad Sad Life of the Short Stick
Filed Under Need Spice, i need pleasure and you're not providing it, scary things, short men, small penis | 1 Comment
Linda Asks: My new boyfriend has a very small penis. I really enjoy his company but wished he was a few inches longer. Is there such a thing as a penis enlarger?
He Says: Yes. He can have an operation and a surgeon can implant fatty tissues to make it thicker. And those weird vacuum pump may make it longer, although I suspect neither option works too well. If you really like Shorty, your best bet is to train him on the finer arts of oral sex and buy some handy new toys on http://www.adameve.com for some steamier romps. Don’t forget, smaller sizes can be a turn-on too - they’re easier for women to handle for those all-important four-hour fellatio sessions required of today’s sex goddesses.
She Says: That’s a deal breaker for me but if you love him and want to keep him around then I’d suggest some great lingerie. That can definitely spice things up for both of you. Or perhaps you want to invest in one of these? They can be a lot of fun especially when he’s involved. ‘Male enhancers’ do exist but I doubt they work - I’ve never heard of anyone using one except on Austin Powers.
Jul
14
Porn Addiction: The Call of the Wild
Filed Under Need Spice, cheating?, dirty names, porn love | 2 Comments
Tara asks: My husband’s porn addiction has become more of an obsession. He watches porn every night before we go to bed. It makes me feel uncomfortable and inadequate. Is there anything that I can do? It’s been like this for the last year.
He Says: Well it depends what kind of porn he’s into. If it’s men in torture chambers or with farm animals, I’d say it’s time to move on (unless it’s with a sheep named Bessie, but that’s another story…). But seriously, you’ve been cutting your man too much slack for too long. Some porn can be nice to watch as a couple but you should try to move him into more sublime erotic material, like Last Tango in Paris instead of Girls Gone Wild…. If that doesn’t work, tell him to find a hooker to marry. He’ll get the message.
She Says: I’m pretty sure some men become addicted to porn. It may ease his mind after a hard days work. Unfortunately though it may also satisfy his needs before he gets to you. Have you ever tried getting hot and heavy with him before he turns on the tube? It might be what he needs and he’ll soon forget about the trashy ladies lingering behind the screen.
Jul
8
The Lapdancer’s Lair
Filed Under Need Spice, cheating?, lap dancing, playahs, too many people in the bedroom | Leave a Comment
Helen asks: What would you do if you found out your boyfriend received lap dances at a strip club whilst you were out of town. Would that be considered cheating?
He Says: A woman friend of mine used to say, ‘it doesn’t matter where you get your appetite from as long as you eat at home.’ Men are hard-wired by millions of years of evolution to be attracted to varieties of women, while women are designed to love and rear children. At least that’s what I read somewhere. Why not give your man a lap dance from time to time? Make sure he fills your little thong with $20s though!!
She Says: Um yes. That would be considered cheating. If there is nakedness.. the nakedness of another woman… in his lap… then that’s cheating. How often do you go out of town? Is this a frequent thing? Does he tell you about it? LoveShack has a great discussion on this. And You Tube provides some eye-opening videos .
Jun
22
I Just Want Him to Go Away
Filed Under Need Spice, crazy women, dumping, men in self imposed convents, p's and q's, playahs | Leave a Comment
Rowella writes: I’ve gone out on a couple of dates with a guy who I met online and I just know, in my gut, that it’s not going to go anywhere. How do I let him down gently?
She Says: It sounds like you respect him – otherwise why even bother letting him down gently? If that’s the case then simply say (in a nice tone) that you don’t see the two of you working out in the long term. Most guys understand that and he’ll likely be interested in being friends! Datingish has a good post on how to let a guy down effectively.
He Says: This is pretty easy. Lots of people go out on a couple of dates and decide they don’t want to get really involved. Just make it simple: tell him the chemistry really isn’t there and wish him good luck. Tell him you’ll mail his socks back….
Jun
1
Alaskan Men Need Help
Filed Under Need Spice | Leave a Comment
Emma from Barrow, Alaska!: My husband no longer satisfies me. I’ve started to fantasize about having affairs with other men. He rarely initiates sex and I’ve become bored in the bedroom. I’ve tried to convince him to see a sex therapist, etc but he always has an excuse. We do not have any children (so I wouldn’t feel as guilty) and I feel like if he found out that I was having an affair - he may become interested again. What do you think?
He Says: It is an unfortunate biological truth that men tend to get bored doing the same thing with the same person all the time. So you need to wake it up and shake it up! Surprise him with spicy new techniques in the sack. Threatening to have an affair is counterproductive and could seriously turn him off. It’s not nice to have affairs when you’re in a committed relationship.
She Says: There are several things to address here. 1. If you have an affair; don’t tell him. He may be thinking that things aren’t right between the two of you and this may give him the perfect reason to walk. 2. Have you tried games in bed? Toys? Role play? Fab Lingerie? Maybe he doesn’t want sex because you’re not satisfying him either! 3. ‘Want him’. When you want a man they want you a lot more too. Men like succeeding. So let him. 4. Maybe you’re both just too freaking cold in Alaska and need to move! In the Bahamas… it gets pretty hot.