Aug
4
I Remember When I Lost My Mind
Filed Under Need Spice, cheating?, crazy women, dumping, i need pleasure and you're not providing it, men in self imposed convents, proposals, run away joe | Leave a Comment
Jesse Asks: My boyfriend has stopped having sex with me. What is going on? He says he’s not in the mood or that he’s tired and it’s been like this for the last 5 months!!! It’s making me crazy!
He Says: Well he has obviously lost interest in you or getting it somewhere else. Since this is the two- ton elephant in the room, you have a right to demand better answers than “I’m tired” or “I’m not in the mood.” In fact, this is clearly a human rights violation. Threaten to haul him into the International Court of Justice in the Hague - your fundamental human needs aren’t being met. Maybe some wig-wearing judge will set him straight.
She Says: I used to think that when this happens it means he’s moved on mentally. Which is still often the case. But other times, men ‘just don’t feel like it’. I know so because friends of mine have been proposed to after this exact thing happened. To me, it means he’s gotten very comfortable with you. This can be a good or a bad thing. Sometimes this means he’s taking you for granted and other times this means that he’s happy and not that sexual. That vibe can only be picked up on by you. You know your man.. if he’s a sexual kind of guy then you may have a problem on your hands.
Jul
20
Rage Against the Machine
Filed Under cheating?, dumping, men in self imposed convents, over excited male, playahs, porn love, too many people in the bedroom | Leave a Comment
Elizabeth from Iowa: I caught my boyfriend taking photos of his ah hem whilst on the computer. It turns out that he has been chatting to random ladies for quite sometime. Should I dump him?
He Says: Yes. Getting it on with random women on the Internet is creepy and weird. Who knows what else he’s up to? You could end up with some pretty ugly diseases. Don’t let that happen.
She Says: Yes! What in the world is he doing? It sounds like he’s got a few things to sort out… like sense of self-respect. Any man who willingly exposes himself to the Internet (which is kind of like putting his dick out on national television) needs a head check. You’re wasting your time hanging out with this one.
Jul
9
An Unforgettable Evening…. Then This Happened
Filed Under blind dates, men in self imposed convents, over excited male, scary things | Leave a Comment
Gail asks: I went on a lovely date with a really wonderful man last week. Everything was perfect until we started passionately kissing and he had a little accident. Should I call him back? I felt so embarrassed for him…
He Says: Whoa. Naturally I would like to hear more details about this, like how adroitly he handled this embarrassing incident, which reflects how confident he is in his skin and at the dating game. He could have some sort of medical issue that could be explained and laughed off. Or it could be a one-off over the pressure of seeming perfect on an early date (and there is a lot of pressure these days!!). If he is a decent guy, you may want to continue the pursuit. Like I have said, no man is perfect and bodies can be a drag sometimes. Don’t forget, you ladies can have a host of embarrassing issues that can also interfere with your ravishingness on occasion. Don’t leave another scarred victim on the dating scene – give the man a call – then dump him if it happens again!
She Says: He will either be mortified or used to it. I’m sure he knows it is a problem. But no. Don’t call him. He will either lose interest in you (he’s used to it) or he will think you’re pity calling him making him avoid calling you back (mortified). But if you’re calling him back I would say yes please do! Everyone needs a second chance… especially if you had a wonderful time with him! These issues are more common than you think!
Jul
7
How To Meet A Decent Man…in NYC
Filed Under NYC Men, crazy women, men in self imposed convents, playahs, short men | Leave a Comment
Julie from NYC: Will I ever meet a decent man in NYC? If so, where?
She Says: It seems that men in New York (Robert Pattison what?) think that the women in New York are just as crazy as the men… which leads me to conclude that either everyone in New York is insane or we need to chill out. If you continue to go out and show up you’re going to eventually meet someone… but the real secret to meeting someone ‘decent’ is to let him come to you. It may be old fashioned but its the truth. And perhaps try getting involved in ‘things’ - sailing group? biking? charity? It will not only improve your chances of meeting someone it will also make you a happier person!
He Says: There are no decent men in New York or anywhere for that matter. We are all scoundrels, two-timers, phonies, hypocrites, liars and worse, especially state governors. But that’s why you love us.
Jun
23
The Over Excited Male
Filed Under blind dates, crazy women, men in self imposed convents, proposals | 2 Comments
Nancy Rollin Up: My colleague at work set me up with a good friend of hers. We’ve gone out a couple of times, but I really think he’s ready for marriage and I’m not. My colleague keeps on asking me how we’re doing … what do I do?
He Says: It’s nice that your colleague set you up, but let’s face it, blind dates rarely work, since no one knows your chemistry like you do, despite the good intentions of the person setting you up. So I think it’s OK to tell your colleague that you have considerations about your date… You can just say you’re in a different place, or the chemistry isn’t there, or whatever. Most people understand those issues.
She Says: He’s ready for marriage in this recessionary madness? And only after two dates? I’m shocked! and… I think you’re overreacting. First off, I’m sure he likes you but men are always hot and heavy at the start. They build you up in their head and think you’re the one. A few months later you’ll be wondering if he’s ever going to propose. I say these are early days and roll with it. Things are bound to evolve. Time for you to take a breather. And just be vague about it with your coworker. It’s your relationship (not hers) anyway. Unless of course he’s this guy! Then I’d say run for the hills!.
Jun
22
I Just Want Him to Go Away
Filed Under Need Spice, crazy women, dumping, men in self imposed convents, p's and q's, playahs | Leave a Comment
Rowella writes: I’ve gone out on a couple of dates with a guy who I met online and I just know, in my gut, that it’s not going to go anywhere. How do I let him down gently?
She Says: It sounds like you respect him – otherwise why even bother letting him down gently? If that’s the case then simply say (in a nice tone) that you don’t see the two of you working out in the long term. Most guys understand that and he’ll likely be interested in being friends! Datingish has a good post on how to let a guy down effectively.
He Says: This is pretty easy. Lots of people go out on a couple of dates and decide they don’t want to get really involved. Just make it simple: tell him the chemistry really isn’t there and wish him good luck. Tell him you’ll mail his socks back….
Jun
4
Lonely in Midtown: My problem is that I work so hard I never have time to date. First, how do I meet women? do you have experience with websites such as Match.com? Secondly because of my job and working so hard I have not had sex in almost three years. Is that a difficult issue to discuss with possible dates?
She Says: Well sir. You need to get out of the office. There are several ways to meet women. Yes I would encourage you to try Match.com or sites like it (eharmony, plenty of fish, and nerve are all popular). They are a sure fire way to meet a lady to love. Next up, meander into a few bars. Women in New York do like to be hit on so start dishing out a few ‘come-hither’ looks! Be more socially active through groups online. Hit up Facebook or Yahoo Groups to meet people with similar interests. As far as your new found celibacy is concerned…. Women like confidence and you telling them that you can’t get laid won’t help anything. Some things are better left unsaid!
He Says: On-line dating is great for people stuck in offices and too burned out to get out much. Check em out. Match.com, OKCupid, Craigslist, Yahoo Personals and so on. There are lots of women looking! Take some nice pix of yourself, paint a cool verbal portrait and start COMMUNICATING with women. And don’t be needy or a wuss, and NEVER say you haven’t had sex for years. What’s the point? My best advice – read some dating books like “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-Up Artists” and others, which have some great nuggets. Don’t waste time if you don’t get immediate results – move on to the next woman, and the next. You need to get in the game!